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Okay who is nanoing this year?

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Halloween altar, daytime shot

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Edith-Anne is my fave.

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I’ve had a weird couple of days.

Two days ago Soof woke up with a fever. It made me nervous and my anxiety has been with me ever since. In the afternoon it spiked up to 102.3 and we took him to urgent care. The doctor looked in his ears to check for an ear infection (nope. His ears are waxy but not sick) and checked his throat and listened to his lungs and all that. Said it was most likely a virus but if he didn’t seem better after a day to take him to the ER to check for a UTI. 

He did get better. Yesterday there was a bit of diarrhea (sorry) but no fever and he was acting normally again. Thank goodness. To check for a UTI in a baby they apparently have to use a catheter and I didn’t want to subject the poor thing to that.

This morning I thought Atticus was coming down with it as well, but he perked up and has been fine. Soof seems recovered. 

It’s just hard, I think, parenting with anxiety. I get so nervous about every little normal illness. And I *know*, in my right mind, that I’m overreacting, making a mountain out of a mole hill, and so I am constantly asking the people around me “does he look okay?” “Is this normal?” “Does he need a doctor?” and so to the point where I know I’m being obnoxious. I can’t help it though. I have to ask because I just feel like I can’t trust my instincts when it comes to my kids being sick because of my panic disorder. I don’t trust my feelings. Which is hard as a parent, who supposedly should be in possession of the much lauded “parent’s intuition.”

Anyway. Things seem to be on the upswing health-wise in the Drake house. I’m glad.

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Sufjan managed to get apple juice at around nine.

It is now almost 11 at night and he. is. still. awake.

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And like the sea,
I’m constantly changing from calm to ill…

City and Colour, “Sleeping Sickness,” Bring Me Your Love
(via thequotejournals)
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